Part of enjoying this stage requires acceptance of the extreme energy that is required to match a 4 year old. It is very normal for 4 year olds to have A TON of energy. Ames underlines the following common patterns for the average 4 years old: HIGH ENERGY In other words, the journey might always involve two steps forward and one step back and this is normal.Īlso, as mentioned earlier, please keep in mind that every child is unique! Your child, for instance, may be particularly gifted or qualify as a highly sensitive child which would likely result in their presenting with different behaviors (such as greater outbursts or increased/decreased outbursts).Ĭheck out this article for a detailed explanation of the sensitive child (and how to decipher between high sensitivities and other disorders like ADHD). Therefore, it is important to understand that your child's growth looks like a spiral up, meaning that it will seem like they are going through regressions as they grow and thus patience is required for everyone in the family. Louise Bates Ames' book, "Your 4 Year: Wild and Wonderful" based on research from the Gesell Institute of Human Development (which studied thousands of children over 100 years), it should be expected that children go through stages of equilibrium and disequilibrium as they are growing. “Normal” 4 year old behaviorĪs summarized in Dr. It is also important that parents (of children of any age) prioritize staying calm and trusting that every person has their own rate of development and that all children grow at a unique pace. In this section, I will provide information about typical and atypical behavior for 4 year old children. It makes so much sense that a parent, who has made it through the terrible twos but is still seeing some 4-year old's behavior that feels concerning, would want to understand their child's behavior in the context of other children in the same stage. This article will summarize typical 4-year old behavior and support you in supporting your child's optimal growth regardless of their developmental pace compared to other kids.Įverything you need to know about 4-year old behavior Being a parent of a 4-year old is a super unique time because your kiddo has made it past the toddler stage but still has limited (and selective) access to the prefrontal cortex that accounts for executive functioning (like consistent listening, fully understanding boundaries, and making clear choices). It becomes really important that adults in a 4-year old's life learn what is to be expected to be dealing with at this stage, as well as what patterns might indicate some developmental delays or regression. Many parents express concern that they are doing something wrong or worry that if they are dealing with difficult behavior now, difficulties will only worsen over time. Parents approach my child therapy and parent coaching practice often overwhelmed by 4-yr old behavior issues and wondering what they can do to support their kiddo in healthy development. In this post, you’ll gain insight into 4 year old's’ behavior: what’s typical, what’s not, and how to help your kiddo. Takeaway: Every child is different, so it can be hard to tell what’s “normal” behavior for a 4-year old and what might be an indicator that they need some extra support.
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